So I just played The Beginers Guide and there is so much thoughts in my head right now that I just needs to write down my thoughts to clear my mind. If you haven’t heard about the Beginners Guide it’s a game by Davey Wreden the writer of the Stanley Parable. Talking about it more would spoil it so if you don’t want it spoiled I suggest you don’t read futher
So you want my thoughts about it. Ok, let’s go! I will probably ramble quite a bit but hopefully most makes sense
The whole narrative is that Davey is presenting the work from somebody else called “Coda” that never shown his work before. These games are very often confusing, not always clear if they are finished or not, abstract and surrealistic. While I was never very sure if the Coda character is real or not it gets even more confusing the end as in the last game Coda calls out Davey about the way he acted about his games. He calls out him for modifying his game and try to add/force his own interpretations on the game like he is depressed and needs to be cured. After that you just walk another place that I guess is made by Davey where he thinks about what he could do differently. This whole ending made me go and read several other interpretations on the while game to understand it more. The theory that resonated with me that Coda is not real and both represent different sides of Davey.
Still backing of, the main reason I got the game was because the game itself is about the creation on games and self doubt. Coda didn’t upload any of his work and Davey felt that was a mistake as he felt they are brilliant and he feel can’t understand why as he needs validation to motivate to do anything. I could reflect myself have both these things in a way. I haven’t uploaded that much considering what I created, I studied for 3,5 years making games and developed and made levels on games over 10 year ago. That being said the only games I’ve uploaded is the LD dare ones as I feel like my games doesn’t look so bad when every game is rushed in some way. I still made tons of other games in many different styles, the only real uploaded proof I have is this old showreel I made one and a half year ago. Heck one of my most promising games I made called UnSymmetry was that many people thought was interesting but I just couldn’t work on and present it well to the competition I send it to because I thought in the end that “It was a generic platformer that won’t work won’t sell and not be very fun in the end” and I still can’t get the motivation to work on it more.
I was hoping to get to tackle my self esteem issues with The Beginners Guide and while it made me think they are still very much there. I’ve been thinking however trying to capsule all these thoughts in a game of my own. There is something called One Game a Month and the theme is “Hobby” and I plan to do a game about my doubting with these thoughts. The game might be called MyPlatformingGame and be about playing a kinda generic platforming game and then giving feedback on it. The twist will be that you will play as the low self esteem and you will only give feedback on how bad it is and it’s not worth finishing. It will mostly will be based on my own thoughts I had during making UnSymmetry. I have no idea if I ever will do it due to the reasons above but it might help me if I get others tackling the topic or at least vent it out in some way.
I know this wasn’t very much about the end but at least my mind is a bit clearer now. Who knows maybe MyPlatformingGame will be the one that makes me believe in my works enough to release them.